i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
