New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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