I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
