I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
