Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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