There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
