we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
