He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
