Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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