Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
