i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
