Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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