When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
