Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
