HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
