Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
