Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
