Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
