carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
