Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Every concussion has its silver lining
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
