dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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