I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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