I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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