Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
