Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
