I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Randomize
