so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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