He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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