THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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