; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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