you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
