it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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