Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
