They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
