I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
