she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
