i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
