Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
