Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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