I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
