yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
