would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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