WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
