im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
