he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
