im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
