i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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