Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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