Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
