trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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