I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
