I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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