chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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