Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
